During the week I facilitated a change session for one of my clients. The client is going through a significant business transformation and the employees in the session were expressing varying degrees of emotion ranging from neutral to confusion to anger. Several people mentioned they were feeling very emotional and might struggle to keep their feelings in check during the session.
As part of the session, we brainstormed the opportunities presented by the change. As you might expect, the energy in the room shifted as people became curious, interested and then excited about the possibilities. As they drew mind maps of the future opportunities the volume of the discussion in the room increased and laughter broke out. It was exciting to be part of such an emotional shift.
I spoke with the participants about the power of words. We talked about how toning down the language we use when describing our emotions actually shifts how we feel. We practised toning down language, shifting “I am angry” to “I am feeling angry” and then “I am observing that I feel angry”. Shifting the focus to an observer role rather than a participant in the emotion helps tone down the feeling.
It is also useful to tone down the description of the emotion. Moving from “I am feeling angry” to “I am feeling frustrated”, or “annoyed” or even “miffed” shifts the emotional feel.
Then try amplifying your positive emotions. Move from “I’m ok” to “I feel great”, “on top of the world” or “awesome”!
As a leader it is important to remember that your emotional state is contagious. If you are feeling negative it rubs off on your team.
The lessons about shifting your negative emotional state are this:
1 – tone it down with the words you use
2 – focus on something positive
3 – when you start to feel your emotion shift to the positive, use words to amplify it.
If you need to shift the mood of a room, brainstorming opportunities is a great way to do that.
Contact Ros for leadership development, coaching and facilitation, or if you have questions about the topics – ros@www.shapingchange.com.au or visit Shaping Change at www.shapingchange.com.au